Do you want a deeper connection to yourself, and other people, and the present moment?
Honesty Salons are small groups – I typically prefer 5 people total (myself plus 4 other participants) – where we meet, agree to some communication guidelines to help us connect, and then strive to be as honest and in the moment as possible.
This work is informed by various schools of communication: T-Group, Radical Honesty, Getting Real, and Authentic Relating.
On the personal / connection-to-self side of things, Honesty Salons feel like a talking meditation. I encourage the naming of whatever is in your foreground, under the idea that doing so helps it change and reveal the next layer of your experience, like peeling an onion. I also encourage you to practice skills including setting boundaries and asking for what you want, practicing self-regulation and self-compassion, and mindfully tracking and understanding your thoughts, feelings, and behavior to reveal the spacious awareness that is your essential being. All of these skills can help you liberate yourself from suffering.
On the interpersonal / connection-to-others side of things, Honesty Salons feel like having a really deep, personal conversation within a healthy (or at least a “good enough”) family. We attempt to build the trust and respect required for us to become vulnerable, including by practicing trauma-informed conversation, building our awareness of consent, giving kind and honest feedback, and repairing relationships when they’re damaged. This can be powerful in healing relational trauma, and I encourage participants (to the extent that they feel willing) to share difficult truths so that they may be witnessed and understood, and so that their burden is lightened. After all, as Peter Levine says, “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”
On the spiritual / connection-to-the-present-moment side of things, Martin Buber said, “When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.” Honesty Salons generate that electricity, and through it, relational healing is possible as we experience God as the energy within and around us. I often feel like I’m falling into the Mystery, of feeling like I’m in a spacious receptivity to whatever happens next. In this way, Honesty Salons helped me develop a spirituality that feels authentic, grounded in the present moment, and helpful for me.
Honesty Salons have been one of my primary practices for healing my complex trauma. The recovery curve from complex trauma contains many stages, including safety & rapport & alliance, deepening trauma work & unpacking, catharsis, and setting boundaries & assertiveness. This container can be used as a space to practice and see the modeling of others for any of those things.
We typically meet for 90 minutes at a time over Zoom.
To sign up for a series of Honesty Salons, contact me using the form below.
https://forms.gle/nLjYYprauVLqwTwn9
Do you want a deeper connection to yourself, and other people, and the present moment?
Honesty Salons are small groups – I typically prefer 5 people total (myself plus 4 other participants) – where we meet, agree to some communication guidelines to help us connect, and then strive to be as honest and in the moment as possible.
This work is informed by various schools of communication: T-Group, Radical Honesty, Getting Real, and Authentic Relating.
On the personal / connection-to-self side of things, Honesty Salons feel like a talking meditation. I encourage the naming of whatever is in your foreground, under the idea that doing so helps it change and reveal the next layer of your experience, like peeling an onion. I also encourage you to practice skills including setting boundaries and asking for what you want, practicing self-regulation and self-compassion, and mindfully tracking and understanding your thoughts, feelings, and behavior to reveal the spacious awareness that is your essential being. All of these skills can help you liberate yourself from suffering.
On the interpersonal / connection-to-others side of things, Honesty Salons feel like having a really deep, personal conversation within a healthy (or at least a “good enough”) family. We attempt to build the trust and respect required for us to become vulnerable, including by practicing trauma-informed conversation, building our awareness of consent, giving kind and honest feedback, and repairing relationships when they’re damaged. This can be powerful in healing relational trauma, and I encourage participants (to the extent that they feel willing) to share difficult truths so that they may be witnessed and understood, and so that their burden is lightened. After all, as Peter Levine says, “Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”
On the spiritual / connection-to-the-present-moment side of things, Martin Buber said, “When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.” Honesty Salons generate that electricity, and through it, relational healing is possible as we experience God as the energy within and around us. I often feel like I’m falling into the Mystery, of feeling like I’m in a spacious receptivity to whatever happens next. In this way, Honesty Salons helped me develop a spirituality that feels authentic, grounded in the present moment, and helpful for me.
Honesty Salons have been one of my primary practices for healing my complex trauma. The recovery curve from complex trauma contains many stages, including safety & rapport & alliance, deepening trauma work & unpacking, catharsis, and setting boundaries & assertiveness. This container can be used as a space to practice and see the modeling of others for any of those things.
We typically meet for 90 minutes at a time over Zoom.
To sign up for a series of Honesty Salons, contact me using the form below.
https://forms.gle/nLjYYprauVLqwTwn9
This group studies Susan Campbell’s book, From Triggered to Tranquil. We go chapter by chapter, talking about the material in the book and anything related that participants would like to bring. We talk about trigger reactions, the trauma that underlies them, and what to do about them. I also include information from outside the book, like self-assessments of childhood trauma, when I think it will enrich the group.
The plan is to keep meeting every week for free, indefinitely.
The vibes: When the group meets, we try to stay connected to ourselves and each other because that connection in itself can be healing. I draft lesson plans and facilitate the group, but I’m open to any feedback or wishes from participants and I will let myself be guided by the needs of group members.
Here are the guidelines we use:
- I agree to keep confidentiality.
- I agree to ask for what I want.
- I agree to take care of myself. If I want to, I may decline to say anything, turn off my microphone or video, step away from the screen, get water, etc.
- I agree that I am responsible for my participation in any exercise, and that my participation is voluntary. I may modify exercises or prompts to work for me, decline to say anything, or say “pass” at any time.
- When I share my experience, I agree to stay on my own side of the net by only talking about my own experiences, feelings, and thoughts. I won’t say things like, “I feel like YOU are being…”
- I will not give advice or suggestions to others, ask leading questions (for example, “what if you…,” or “don’t you think…”), or try to get others to think differently or see things differently (including getting others to see the bright side of things). The one exception to this is when someone explicitly says that they consent to receiving advice, suggestions, or coaching.
- I agree to support others in telling their truth.
- I agree to be open to receiving from this experience more than I will try to give or provide to others.
- I agree to try to relate to or connect with others rather than be right or knowledgeable.
- I agree to allow other people to feel discomfort and uncertainty. I won’t immediately try to make their situation better, help them, or heal them. I have some options in how I respond to seeing others suffer: I may relate to them, witness, and feel in resonance with them; or I may pay attention entirely to myself and anything that comes up for me; or I may take care of myself another way (for example, by walking away from the computer).
Want the invite link?
Email me at [email protected]
You will need:
Something to write with.
Your whole, beautiful self.
Optional – the book “5 Steps to Freedom” by John B. Waterhouse.
What we’ll do in the prayer group:
We’ll do a quick grounding meditation, then read & agree to the guidelines.
Then we’ll do brief check-in shares or just chat until we understand what conditions each person is coming in with and what outcome each person might like to receive (in other words, each person’s purpose statement).
Then we do a quick poll with raised hands: Who wants to pray for themselves today? Who wants to be prayed for?
Then we practice “affirmative prayer,” which is a practice I studied through a class at the Santa Rosa Center for Spiritual Living.
How we’ll do this / the vibes I’m aiming for:
I’d like us to feel connected with each other.
I’d like the group to practice consensual power-sharing, meaning that we will ask for volunteers and/or collectively decide who does what during the meeting.
I’d like us all to get some practice leading affirmative prayer for ourselves, and we may also pray for each other if we’d like that.
I’d like to practice leading visioning sessions. I imagine other people want to practice, too. If you’re in the mood to lead, please say so.
If you have feedback or wishes, please let me and/or other participants know.
Guidelines for participation:
I prefer beginning every session getting everyone to agree to the following guidelines, especially if there are people who are new to the group and/or if anyone wants to go over the guidelines that day for any reason.
The guidelines are:
- I agree to keep what is shared within the group confidential. Outside of the group I may talk about my own experience, or I may talk about others’ experiences as long as I don’t share identifying information about the other person.
- I agree to take care of myself. If I want to, I may decline to say anything, turn off my microphone or video, step away from the screen, get water, etc.
- I agree to support others. This includes holding safe, positive space for them, helping them figure out what their experience means to them (not to me), and acknowledging that I can’t ever fully understand someone else’s experience.
- I will not give advice or suggestions to others, ask leading questions (for example, “what if you…,” or “don’t you think…”), or try to get others to think differently or see things differently (including getting others to see the bright side of things). The one exception to this is when someone explicitly says that they consent to receiving advice, suggestions, or coaching.
- When I share my experience, I agree to stay on my own side of the net by only talking about my own experiences, feelings, and thoughts. I won’t say things like, “I feel like YOU are being…”
- I will try to connect with others rather than be right or knowledgeable. I may talk about MY OWN beliefs, and I can preface these statements with “I believe…” or “My belief is…”; I won’t tell other people what is true about their experience, the world, or spirituality / God / gods etc. in a way that states or implies that I know the capital-T Truth.
- If something in the group isn’t working for me, I feel unable to continue, or if someone is stepping outside these guidelines, I may raise my hand and gently draw attention to it to allow us to return to connection. Or I can take care of myself some other way, like by stepping away from the computer.
Want the invite link?
Email me at [email protected]
You will need:
Something to write with.
Your whole, beautiful self.
Optional – the book “Life Visioning” by Michael Beckwith.
What we’ll do in the visioning group:
We’ll practice “visioning,” which is a practice I studied through a class at Ventura CSL.
In visioning, we use a guided meditation to learn about the vision that God/Spirit/Life (or whatever term you prefer) has for our own life. We let information come through to us and write that information down. We may also ask Spirit to help us discern the truth in that information, and/or what to do with that information.
After the guided meditation is over, we may then share the information we received from Spirit with the group.
When we’ve gathered a lot of data (usually across multiple sessions) we may analyze it to search for themes and feelings across our different data points. Then we LET the vision happen in our lives THROUGH us by releasing things that are in its way. (We don’t do anything to make the vision happen. The vision is already complete in the mind of Spirit. We only need to let go of things to become a proper vehicle/channel for the vision to become true.)
How we’ll do this / the vibes I’m aiming for:
I’d like us to feel connected with each other.
I’d like the group to practice consensual power-sharing, meaning that we will ask for volunteers and/or collectively decide who does what during the meeting.
I’d like us all to get some practice leading affirmative prayer for ourselves, and we may also pray for each other if we’d like that.
I’d like to practice leading visioning sessions. I imagine other people want to practice, too. If you’re in the mood to lead, please say so.
If you have feedback or wishes, please let me and/or other participants know.
Guidelines for participation:
I prefer beginning every session getting everyone to agree to the following guidelines, especially if there are people who are new to the group and/or if anyone wants to go over the guidelines that day for any reason.
The guidelines are:
- I agree to keep what is shared within the group confidential. Outside of the group I may talk about my own experience, or I may talk about others’ experiences as long as I don’t share identifying information about the other person.
- I agree to take care of myself. If I want to, I may decline to say anything, turn off my microphone or video, step away from the screen, get water, etc.
- I agree to support others. This includes holding safe, positive space for them, helping them figure out what their experience means to them (not to me), and acknowledging that I can’t ever fully understand someone else’s experience.
- I will not give advice or suggestions to others, ask leading questions (for example, “what if you…,” or “don’t you think…”), or try to get others to think differently or see things differently (including getting others to see the bright side of things). The one exception to this is when someone explicitly says that they consent to receiving advice, suggestions, or coaching.
- When I share my experience, I agree to stay on my own side of the net by only talking about my own experiences, feelings, and thoughts. I won’t say things like, “I feel like YOU are being…”
- I will try to connect with others rather than be right or knowledgeable. I may talk about MY OWN beliefs, and I can preface these statements with “I believe…” or “My belief is…”; I won’t tell other people what is true about their experience, the world, or spirituality / God / gods etc. in a way that states or implies that I know the capital-T Truth.
- If something in the group isn’t working for me, I feel unable to continue, or if someone is stepping outside these guidelines, I may raise my hand and gently draw attention to it to allow us to return to connection. Or I can take care of myself some other way, like by stepping away from the computer.
Want the invite link?
Email me at [email protected]
Do you want honest feedback about how your impact on other people?
Do you need to go deeper to untie the knots of some very old patterns?
Do you want someone who will meet you exactly where you’re at, without trying to fix or change anything about you?
Meet with me and we’ll practice a nonviolent, fun, alive approach to getting more of what you want out of life.
My work is informed by…
Getting Real. I’m a certified Getting Real coach.
Schools & practices that are adjacent to Getting Real: Authentic Relating, Honesty Salons, T-Group, and NonViolent Communication.
Vipassana retreats through Dhamma.org, and other Buddhist study.
SeekHealing’s Listening Training I and Social Health Facilitator Training (formerly Listening Training II).
Psychedelics, psychedelic-assisted therapy, and indigenous shamanic practices.
Trauma, complex trauma, triggers, child abuse, emotional & psychological abuse, sexual abuse, unhealthy families, individuation, and assertiveness & negotiation.
Want to set up a session?
Email me at [email protected]